Into the Blue…

Archive for October, 2013


Where did you go
upon the year’s passing?
Heavy hung the cloak of your leaving…
for days and weeks, months…
your hand stayed firm
on my shoulder – until
I turned into your embrace.
I felt the warmth around me
but when I nodded
the mantle slipped from me.
Leaving me chilled to wonder:
was this discernment an answer
to questions asked long ago or
a phantom of grief sustained?

October 2006-13


And so a year passes
and everything changes –
and everything stays the same –
except for those we have lost
on our journey of days.
This dull, numbing feeling
that we’ve forgotten
something important
nags at the undertow of thought
that rushes headlong
into tomorrow’s plans.
And what of that shy sensation
– guilt – that blushes through us
when we stumble upon a moment
that will never be shared
with our increasingly unremembered?
That, too, washes away from us
in the current of our lives.

August 2006

Postcard Home

I want you to know what I’ve learned –
to understand what is
and to support me in my journey
of self discovery.
Know that I do not
defy your wishes out of disrespect
but that I defy you
out of self preservation.
I have caught sight of a woman
that I think could be me.
All I ask is that you
don’t stop me from looking for her.

November 2005

Longing Filled

Silent longing
fills a night.
Hot and hard
as winter ice
on bare skin.
Chanted litany
in breathless gasps—
now and now
and now and gone.
Dream fed
fantasy of want
and need to fill
an empty soul.

June 2008

Ice Storm

The day it came was cold and wet.
A winter’s rain fell hard on frozen ground
covered in half thawed ice and memory.
Metered thuds of blade on ice
wedged open gaps that let – what was – seep up.
I had you once and then had you not;
and, although I can tell when,
I never knew why you left my sight.
This is how obsession starts:
a blade cuts open a frozen shell
letting light upon a darkness that lay
hidden under years of neglected dreams.
A haunting stab of what could have been –
but what surely is not – presses into my heart
and leaves burning regret imprinted
in the ice storm.

December 2008

Days Past

These days past, in furrowed remembrance,
lay distant like bereft fields of winter.
Memories patched and flattened into stories
told by the remaining few, alone in their recollections
of that warm fall or that wet spring.
Fogged sentiments dance off rough snow fields,
obscuring the horizon, deposing details of history
with scenic memoirs of a greener time.

March 2007

First Snow

We meet on the street
side walk
bundled from bordered
worlds –  warm –
chill kissing cheeks
and gloved hands
in white. We clear fresh
to find old gray.
Our common cause
unites us in duty
and community.
Alighting neighbors
where houses once stood.
Silent in snow.

January / February 2007